Hit me with your best shot.

Being any member of a step family makes for a particular brand of difficulty. Interfamily cliques tend to form: Him/Her, Her/Hers, Him/His, Them, Them/Them. Paranoia ensues.
In desperation, I once bought (and even read) a How To survive in a step family. The most helpful tidbit offered was, essentially, the golden rule. Well now, if it was as easy as all that, we probably wouldn't have step families, would we? Actually, in my stronger and less selfish moments, said tidbit has been a guiding light. However, the concept of considering others first gets muddled when it comes to my children's needs. When the Lioness appears, I am helpless. She will instinctively protect her cubs and consequences be damned. I believe God is in that instinct, too, so I find myself asking what exactly would Jesus do if he found His children being mistreated or slighted. This brings me round to Him paying it all and all to Him I owe and I am humbled. Again, I am forced to consider how His Grace is enough for me and the whole dysfunctional mess of folks of which I am in the midst.
So I must consider The One who:

has a dad in another house
feels fierce loyalty but fears offense
wants what he can never have
is angry
is confused by his anger
is confused
has an enduring identity crisis
is jealous
is insecure
needs to know why
fears loss
resents the step parent
resents the step child
cannot grasp a life before she was.

What's done is done and the only thing left to do is nail it to the cross.