Try not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational. - Charles Schulz

You got your stereotypical homeschool mom. History recalls a denim jumper, flybacks and white Keds. Southern homeschoolers don't care for the terminology but we have, indeed, evolved.

Spicier than ever, homeschool moms are copiously diverse: Bull by the horns. Janet Jackson flavored control. Tinsy bit obnoxious but always determined. Always on the scene. Kindly mean.

She will amaze you with her courage and shame you with her strength. She will bore you with her endless chatter about curriculum and tutors and unnecessary peer pressure. She refuses to acknowledge socialization because how do you know what her kids are up to. "What state legislature could care more about mine than me?" She's thrifty and scary.

She will dig until she finds it or do it herself. Channeling Olympian determination, she will become what is required. She knows Merriweather Lewis and photosynthesis and semicolons. Dinosaurs, Da Vinci and what George Washington ate for breakfast. Her head swims with the Multiplication Facts Rap. (It's a burden, to be sure.)

She's an Abeka or eclectic. She schools at home or hones her school. She's a tester or Not. She persuades to convince but has her mind set.

She learns delicate doesn't do but tender will. She channels Optimism once a year and once again. She seasons and scowls because she is a tough crowd.