"Without love, you ain't nothing without love" - Larry Norman

Lolling round in sin is much preferable to behaving oneself. Knowing Jesus, parenthood, societal demands, financial constraints and legal constraints as well as the desire not to shame my family keep me in check. If we did what we really wanted, what would become of us? We can't have an entire world of people Feeling Good and Doin' It. Who would foot the bill?

The best we can hope for is authenticity because, frankly, we are not that good of a people. Removing the rose colored glasses reveals none who measure up to even our own standards. My pride will lie and fail and fall so beware. Somebody's coming for me. And they are gonna be skinnier, stronger, busier, fancier, craftier, wealthier, kinder, gentler, smoother, fresher, crisper, sexier, and better. I'm learning that to lay out my cards at the inception is the safest bet. 

Abundant baggage in tow, I still judge what is not mine to see, hoping, for once, I might not be That Good but surely not That Bad either. If I keep at it (and I do because I never learn), eventually, I have enough clarity to understand why His forgiveness and grace frees me to abandon my own fears, self loathing and lies. It is not in me to break free on my own. I can't afford it.

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