You have to learn to crawl before you can learn to walk.

YG Wittlepants sure knew how to get what he wanted. He only wore little pants with little windows. He only played with the green blocks. His Batman shirt had a hood with a hole which was still handy for storing important items. He considered blanket washing a nuisance as well as chit chat and posing for family portraits.

Each day brought a new opportunity to embody the Thing he liked most. A particular superhero, a cowboy, a pirate, a soldier, a spy. He hadn't yet learned the entertainment value of any one but he only needed an audience of one. The rest was static, easily tuned out.

He would flip through his mind's rolodex, easily sorting and separating which contact suited his needs. The rest were efficiently plucked out and put aside to be replaced with the Next Thing. Some resurface multiple times sounding an alarm his mind is incapable of hearing because YG Wittlepants only needs what he needs for that moment in time. Hence, the rolodex.

He fancies himself an action hero. He jumps and leaps so the Powers That Be enroll him in a gymnastics class. Self important, he comes forward at his appointed time, appropriately clad in his hooded shirt and window pants.

"What's your name, young man?"
"Bruce."
"Hi, Bruce. What's your last name?"
"Wayne. I'm Bruce Wayne."

Years later, this same tactic also works as, "Bond, James."

Wittlepants know how to get what they want because there is only one option and those who fail to choose it are plucked out and put aside. For efficiency's sake.


Comments