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Showing posts from June, 2013

So may I introduce to you.

20 years ago.
10 days late.
32 hours.
Feverish and
Toxic and
Nauseated and
Fearful

Exhaustion.

After 1.5 hours, one last push.
You resist but you cannot stay put.
You have eclipsed everything entirely and now I know.

It's our turn.
Mine and yours.

Let's be courageous.

NTGOAP: Pool'd

• Upon receiving a thumbs down from sister on execution of the 360° cannonball, 15 year old says to 9 year old, " You're just jealous of my cool dives. You're peanut butter and jellyfish. I'm awesome."

• "I'm not jealous of your pants that keep pulling down every time you jump in the water."

• "That's the price you pay for awesomeness. Even your pants are against you."

• How did swimming get obnoxious?

• I need a nap.

You're black and you're white.

Social media gives me social anxiety. Is that a thing?

You have a fabulous looking home and an incredible head of hair plus your kids pose nicely for pics. As if this weren't enough, you have an eye for artful composition and even if you seem to have a knack for choosing the right filter, I feel green-blue inadequacy over the fanciness of your footwork.

Sure, it's only imaginary but, so many days, I can't seem to reconcile the face with the name.

I'm not inside your head and I sure don't want you inside mine. It's so crowded already.

With fear and junk.

Your shoes are even better than mine so your life must be, too.

Maybe I'm the one with the integrity of duplicity after all because I can only feel safe when you're giving me everything you've got.



When your eyes are on this child.

You can push back when I mean to move forward. You can say no when it's better to say yes.

You can dishearten and despair because you forget you're not the One.

You can squint and snarl when you see my reflection. You can register all your disdain.

You can sabotage and terrify but you just waste opportunities.

You can loathe and distract from the business at hand. You can splinter my heart and you can try to steal away with it.

But, to what end? It's not about you anyway. You are not your own but bought with a price.

When there's more to me than my own doubt, insecurities and fear, I am pale in comparison. When my eyes can see further and my perspective comes into focus, I remember:

I am a beautiful daughter. I wear a crown of life with worth unseen to all. Reaching toward my purpose, Heaven waits for me to know that I am fully known.

Meanwhile, I'm my own worst enemy and it's exhausting.