I think it's gonna rain today.

The first time the load really was too heavy for me to carry alone but I didn't ask for help. I foolishly assumed it was my own burden to bear and, maybe eventually, if I could let it go then I could lay it down. But, I stubbornly refused to share all that was left of us.

As it turns out, I'm still hauling that one around. Only, now, it lies dull in the pit of my heart.

Because I miss you and it's tricky to find peace in irrelevance.

I used to resent having it said but I can see now how quickly the years erode our embankments.

On one side, there's something to celebrate. An accomplishment. A right of passage. On the other side, there's longing and...Is that panic? Strange, new feelings are hard to recognize and I'd rather not bear the burden.

Because I wanted so much for you and invested my whole self to see you whole.

I used to resent having it said but I see now you are not mine and never were.

You slip in and out of my grasp like running water. I can't hold you except to contain you. I've made that mistake enough times to save myself the frustration.

With a heavy hearted thud, Melancholy sets himself down right next to Regret.

And you? You're too mesmerizing for all that.

So, there's nothing for it but to sit back and wait to recognize something in you that looks like me.

I can only promise to be delighted.

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