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NTGOAP: Fireproof

• We made our yearly trip to the accountant today with a shoebox full of receipts.

• Disparate and desperate peices of paper.

• Gracious Accountant assured us that he didn't mind people like us but I think he was just being grown up.

• I don't know why anyone ever trusts us with grown up stuff.

• At some point, we decided curtains were the way to be grown up.

• So, now we have curtains.

• On most windows.

• But, they do drag the floors on account of not being hung properly.

• And, don't tell my carpenter but I accidentally burned my beautiful, new wooden counter tops within weeks of him so lovingly constructing and meticulously sanding them.

• That happened when I put some coconut oil in my iron skillet but forgot about it.

• And, then I moved it to the counter so as not to start a fire.

• And, that's probably on account of me cutting myself while playing chef elsewhere in the kitchen but I can't remember.

• Because, there was lots of smoke. 

• My 12 year old daughter rushed in to open all the windows on account of the smoke.

• She hasn't said so but I think a tiny bit of her now doubts my grown up abilities.

• At least I didn't put water on it like that one time so long ago when the kitchen a tiny bit burned.

• I suppose this is a kind of progress for which one can measure success in grown up life:

• Not starting a kitchen fire.

• I wonder if there's a tax write-off for that?


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